In the previous posts, I shared how there will be times we need to advocate for our incarcerated loved one. (If you’ve missed those posts, click here for Part 1 and here for Part 2.)
We need to learn to keep our emotions in check and find that right balance of when we should make those calls and when to leave things alone. It is beneficial if the prison staff knows that we watch out for our family member’s needs. Yet, we do not want to exasperate the staff with too many requests or demands then they may not be as willing to work with us.
In the previous two posts, I have covered three ways for advocating effectively. First, we pray. After we have peace in our heart, then we make the call. When we call, we should speak kindly and ask for their help. Also, we need to understand how to speak in their terms to minimize miscommunication.
Below are two more things I found beneficial when we need to step in and help our loved ones in the system.
Ask again
There are times when we do not receive the answer or response we desire. Go back to step one and pray. Repeat step two and speak kind words. Then implement step three by asking more questions to be certain we are speaking by using their terms.
If this is a matter that requires a response, such as a medical issue, it’s time to ask again. Perhaps the next time we call we can speak with a different employee who handles the situation from a different perspective.
Carol Kent wrote in Waiting Together: Hope and Healing for Families of Prisoners how her husband Gene called the county jail where their son, Jason, was detained until trial. During the waiting process, he was attacked and his two front teeth had been broken off. With the desire for Jason’s teeth to be repaired before trial, they called and were denied this request. Not giving up, Gene found a practical solution and finally spoke to the right person at the jail. After two weeks of praying for an open door and Gene calling at different times to speak to different people, their request was finally approved. (pp 171-173)
Sometimes we must continue to pray and ask with kindness–again and again–before we receive an affirmative response.
Trust God
At times, we may not receive the answer we want or think our loved one deserves. The reality hits us that we have no control over the situation.
This is the time that either we will see God operate in signs, wonders, and miracles. Or He works in our hearts renewing our attitude and character through the process. We’ve witnessed both.
Shortly after entering the state penal system, Stephen broke his foot. After being treated at the local ER and his foot put in a boot cast, the doctor prescribed Motrin and gave him crutches. When Stephen returned to the unit, he was denied the crutches because the doctor did not include it on the prescription or the medical instructions. Of course, a doctor on the outside would not understand all the rules on the inside. Stephen had no choice but to walk with the pain on his foot because of the procedures in place.
To us on the outside, this seemed ridiculous. However, we prayed. We trusted God. Then Stephen attended a Sunday crusade and the minister prayed for healing on Stephen’s foot. After that prayer, no more pain! He received a miraculous healing. He walked on his foot in the boot cast the remaining four weeks without pain and the follow up x-ray confirmed healing.
In this process, we learn to let go and trust God to work in our lives and the lives of our incarcerated loved ones.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths” (Proverb 3:5-6).
Whenever we find ourselves having to advocate for our incarcerated family member, we must pray first. Then speak kind words and learn their language. At times, it may be necessary to continue to pray and call until we speak to the right person to help our loved one.
And finally trust God in all situations especially when it seems we do not get the answer we want to see. God is faithful to work out all situations for HIS glory.
How have you trusted God in your situation and seen Him work in mighty and miraculous ways?
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Has your hope been shattered? Do you wonder how to effectively pray for your incarcerated loved one?
In Appeal to the Courtroom of Heaven, Shonda shares her testimony of how she went from shattered hope to renewed hope after her son was sentenced to state prison. She also includes more than 30 Scripture-based prayers for you to pray for yourself and your loved one.
Appeal to the Courtroom of Heaven: Petitions for Prisoners and Prison Families is Shonda’s unexpected prison family journey testimony. The Lord showed her how HE redeemed the worst-of-the-worst offenders found in the pages of the Bible and she shares how HE wants to redeem the lives of your incarcerated loved one.
Shonda’s transparency and vulnerability points to the source of HOPE for those who lost hope in the midst of despair.
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